Boxing day fun

Why do dogs lick their own parts................Because they can.

What about dyslexic atheists? Is it true they do not believe in dog.

I was having some deep thoughts the other day and I have decided that I would like to die quietly in my sleep just like my grandfather.
Not yelling and screaming like the passengers on his bus.

Blonde walks into a hardware shop and after a bit of searching goes to the counter with some hinges.
The guy behind the counter says "Do you want a screw for those hinges"?
She thinks for a while and says "No, but how about a blow job for that steam iron"?