Friday Funnies

Did you hear about the Irishman.........got a job as a wringer out for a one armed window cleaner.

What can cows do that women can't?...................Stand up to their tits in water without getting their fannies wet.

Two Australians hunting in the outback and one stops for a leak, before he is able to put himself away he is bitten on his Willie by a poisonous snake. "help me Charlie" he cries in pain.
Charlie assesses the situation and Says "hang in there mate, I'll call the Flying doctor" and off he goes to the radio in the truck.
He gives the flying doctor service all the details and gets this reply. "we are to far away to get there in time"
"Is there anything I can do to save Alf" he pleads.
"If you suck out the poison he may live until we get there".
Charlie goes back to Alf and Alf yells "what did they say"?
"Sorry mate, your gonna die"