Monday funday

Why do Aussies come so quick?......................So they can get down to the pub and tell their mates.

Drunk staggers home, crawls upstairs to the bedroom and whispers into his wife's ear just before he passes out.
The next morning he gets up feeling awful and makes his way gingerly downstairs.
His wife presents him with a steaming grey fluffy mess on a plate. "I hope you enjoy it darling" she says.
"What is it?" he replies trying to hold down his insides.
"Well last night when you came to bed you whispered in my ear that the thing you wanted more than anything else in the world was for me to cook your sock."

My wife was bending over the freezer to get a chicken out and I ripped her nickers of and gave her a good fucking.
Not many people have been barred from Iceland.